Today, I fulfilled my long standing Dec. 25th tradition.

I ate Chinese food.

Ok… technically, the dish was of Japanese origin, but it was served at a Chinese restaurant. So I’d say it counts.

I hope everyone has/had a good Dec. 25.

For the last 20 years, I’ve been at war. The battles have been waged both night and day, both at home and away.

I’ve struggled for days on end, weeks at a time. I fought hard to stay sane amongst the demons that come out to torment me.

Insomnia is an evil fucking bitch.

But the battle line runs both ways.

We’ve never got along.

Sometimes, as has been happening lately, I drift in and out of consciousness, never truly asleep, never truly awake. Upon breaking out of the limbo, my eyes are always dry, red, and itchy.

Other times, I just can’t fall asleep no matter what I do. Today already, I’ve taken 2 pills. That’s 4 mgs of Lunesta running through my blood, cuddling with my brain, mixing with my essence. Creating a sleepy soupy Matt… But not nearly sleepy enough.

I know that it will be at least another 30-45 minutes before I finally succumb from exhaustion into the fragile fiberglass cocoon of sleep.

And yet other times… times that have been occurring all too frequently recently, I fall asleep and wake up only a few hours later, getting no more than 4 hours and never enough to tide me over until I have to struggle back to sleep again.

So, right now… I just want to say… SCREW YOU CLOWN! YOU WILL NOT EAT ME!

Seriously.

Enough.

I just woke up and I’m wore out. Why in the world am I dreaming so much recently?

Whatever it is, I’m officially annoyed.

I know I’ve said it before and you’re probably sick of hearing it…

But I HATE sleep. Dislike it immensely. Hell, I probably even have some amount of Hypnophobia.

But worse that sleep itself is dreaming. Dreams suck.

I’m glad I don’t have them most of the time.

Oh, and anyone who tells you that everybody dreams everynight or else they would go insane is a goddamn liar. Trust me… I know when I dream and I know when I don’t, even if I don’t remember what my dream is about.

Yeah… so sleep = teh suck.

No.

Seriously. Recycling (outside of aluminum cans) is a bad idea.

Read this for more information: Eight Great Myths of Recycling.

So stop feeling bad or guilty for not recycling and just get over yourself.